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I am thinking of starting a new, occasional series for this space called 'Raising an Adult'. It is partly spurred on by the fact that by the end of this month I will have done just that - I will have two, officially adult, children. Not sure how or when that happened.
When the children were very young, a wise mother with years of experience, gave me some advice. She said that I should always remember that I was not raising children, I was raising adults. I should think about what I hoped my children would be as grown ups and then think about what I will do to help get them there. I don't mean in terms of a job but how I would hope they would stand in the world, what kind of human I hoped they would be.
Well that got me thinking I can tell you. I started to think about who I admired, and why.
So what do I admire in adults? Kindness for one, enthusiasm, an ability to laugh, a desire to be intelligent or to search out knowledge. I love people who can hold a conversation. I also like people who are positive and resilient, who don't give up. I am in awe of people who are able to give and seem to expect little back. I think I am back at kindness again. I'm sure that there are many more qualities we could all name. How do we help our children to acquire these qualities.? This is something I want to explore here.
This series is not intended to be words of wisdom, God knows I am a far from being a perfect mother - I am pretty certain that that woman doesn't exist. Rather this is a place of reflection for me and a reminder of how I want to parent Finn. I hope you enjoy it!
Great idea! I'm all ears!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea this is and the 'raising adults' advice has really made me stop and think...brilliant! I have a 23 year old and an almost 11 year old and they are two completely different characters but they have the same underlying morals and values ( I hope!)
ReplyDeleteKindness and compassion is one of the big things for me along with self motivation (not an easy one at times!), most definitely a sense of humour, recognising their strengths (and understanding that everyone has weaknesses) and confidence. I love it when people meet my lovely two and say they can chat about so many things so easily! Goodness I could go on....l hope others share their views as well, Claire x
A superb idea. My number one baby is just starting GCSEs and it throws up all kinds of questions about expectations, our's, her's, society's - we spend so much time when they are young protecting them, but now I find I want her to expand her thinking, to try and find out who she is, not be what someone else thinks she should be. A minefield - but a fascinating one.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to seeing where you go with this.
Looking forward to the conversation!
ReplyDeleteI love this. What a different perspective. I have been so consumed by the baby/toddler years that I sometimes forget they will turn into adults.
ReplyDeleteBig congrats to Myles for his Oxford offer by the way, how wonderful.
Gillian x
Started to well up, as I could imagine, me sitting here one day wondering how and when did my little girls grow up? I find the journey of parenting an emotional one at times and a journey to be celebrated and reading this speaks of both xx
ReplyDeleteHi. Just found your blog recently and have been really enjoying catching up on all your old posts. I, too, have one recently turned adult child and one who will be an adult at the end of this year. One is at university and one will be starting in the fall. So I'm really looking forward to these posts. I think so many people forget they are raising adults. One can tell just by the cutesy names people give their kids these days. I shudder to think how these people will be taken seriously when they're adults. Or maybe that's just a problem here in Canada. Maybe you Brits are wiser.
ReplyDeleteGreat idea! I too think like this. With one of my children it's working out very well so far, one of my children has some very specific needs so this is where the curve ball kicks in. It's not always easy but I think we are getting there, we just keep having deviations!!! :) x
ReplyDeleteWise words! I do try to think like that about my boys, but the thoughts sometimes get lots under piles of Lego or dirty laundry, so it is good to have a reminder! Regarding the hat pattern that you asked about, Blogger isn't letting me paste in a link, for some reason, but if you look at the very bottom of my post, where it says details on Ravelry, it will take you there. It's called the sixteen cable hat. Laura x
ReplyDeleteI am now in the slightly scary position of having raised 4 adults! The fourth has proved the most challenging but all four are just fabulous people so I'm hoping I got a few things right, which I guess is all any of us can hope for. It's a fascinating idea for some posts Karen :D
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